Pagan Blog Project Week... 5? C is for Children!

C is for Cookie, it's good enough for me!

JK it's about children. I'm not a parent yet, but I am getting to that age where I'm starting to think about what it might be like to have kids, what kinds of values I want to instill in them, and how I'd go about doing that. I read pagan parenting resources that I can get my hands on, as well as multicultural websites like incultureparent.com. I like to imagine what it will be like trying to explain what I can about the Universe, spirituality, and how the world in general is set up. I imagine what it would be like taking them to spiritual events and festivals at Four Quarters, and taking them traveling.

There's also the matter of figuring out how to raise children to be Pagan if they want, and not if they don't, especially amongst my Seventh Day Adventist family. I think a very important part of raising a child, to me, from a spiritual perspective, is making sure they have plenty of information available to them. Would I like my children to be Pagan? Sure, it'd be nice. But I'd much rather have them think for themselves. If something about what I believe doesn't make sense to my kids, and I try to push them to think what I think, then the only thing that will foster is resentment and divide.

I never want to have my children face a situation where they are uncomfortable talking about what they believe, or where they feel like someone is guilting or threatening them into switching up their beliefs without truly feeling in their hearts that that's what they want. I've seen this happen with plenty of people. When I first converted away from Christianity, I was terrified to tell my mother, and embarrassed about what her response might be, if she would think it was ridiculous or stupid. At first, she didn't like the idea, but as the years went by, she came to accept it as a part of who I am. I think she was just scared for me, initially, but she never made me feel stupid for believing something different. That's really important to me, but it's also important to me that I accept my children for who they are without resistance, even if society claims they're going through a 'phase.'

Actually, I really hate that word, 'phase.' Seriously, it sounds like you have this idea of who your children are going to be and all they have to do is get past this stupid obstacle phase thing. Did you ever stop to think that it's not a 'phase,' but instead it's just who your child is at this moment, and that it's perfectly valid? I've gone through phases. I went through my Wicca phase, my rebel phase (a few, actually), my no-jeans-just-Tripp-pants phase, my dyeing my hair every color ever phase (which isn't entirely done, but just on hold until I can find a suitable wig for work! haha). I don't consider these phases, though. That's who I was. That's who I wanted to be at the time. Accept it, and move on.

Anyway, so, I suppose my goal is to raise my children around Pagans, in a Pagan environment, and learning all about Paganism and the whole smorgasbord of options and freedom of belief that it offers. But other spiritualities and religions will also play a heavy part. So maybe we'll celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, Chinese New Year, Ganesh Chathuri, etc, etc. in addition to Pagan holidays and festivals. Luckily, my boyfriend is Pagan, and we ultimately do plan on getting married and having children someday, when the time is right. So, luckily, there won't be this clash of the religions in our future family, but nor will there be this sense of "YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THIS AND BELIEVE NOTHING ELSE!!!" that is so often present in other, more dogmatic spiritual systems.

I'm just really excited about kids, even though I'm not ready for them by a longshot. (Maybe a mediumshot.) I think that by thinking about how I'd raise my kids years before they even exist will really help me prepare for being a mom. At least, on my own. I don't really talk about it very much with Tim, because I think it makes him kind of nervous, but that's ok.

So I guess that's my rant for the day. Happy Friday!
<3 Sapphirescent <3